In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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