we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
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You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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