D3 body, D1 cock
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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