i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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