Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
they're like a gay fantastic four
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize