I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize