based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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