PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize