after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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