I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You made out with two different species that night
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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