i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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