Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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