Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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