that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
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I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
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Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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