Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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