And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have post one night stand depression
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