my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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