Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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