She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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