Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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