is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
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I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
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You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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