ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize