Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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