in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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