she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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