Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
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i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
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Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize