I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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