i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize