I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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