Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
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this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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