Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize