I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize