First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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