i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's blow job season.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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