well you can't waste a boner
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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