Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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