my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize