It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
that is very illegal...i love you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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