Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize