I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize