You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize