He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
as a side note pls kill me
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