Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize