shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize