come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize