Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize