I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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