You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
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he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
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Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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