dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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