But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
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We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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