I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize